Having to Choose
by Amber Akasha
Summary: Inuyasha is forced to make his choice… Who will he choose, Kikyo or Kagome? Background -Lies, by Evanescence


_Story: Having to choose_

_Summary: Inuyasha is forced to make his choice… Who will he choose, Kikyo or Kagome? (Background -Lies, by Evanescence)_

_Disclaimer: I do not own the InuyashaVerse, nor do I own the song, Lies, by Evanescence. _

_This is my first (and probably, last) Inuyasha fic. Please do try and be benevolent._

_Hope you enjoy it!_

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Inuyasha closed his eyes, trying to block out the sounds of the battle going on before him. He would usually be the one fighting to protect his little pack, but this time he would not intervene –for the ones warring against each other were none other than Kikyo and Kagome. It pained him deeply to see them behave like that, two feral animals trying to mark their territory.

It was sickering.

Kikyo and Kagome kept exchanging blows, oblivious to the source of their fight.

And Inuyasha couldn't find it in himself to be surprised.

_**Bound at every limb by my shackles of fear**_

A particularly charged bolt of energy sent both mikos sprawling on the dirt, putting a temporary stop to the fight.

They both turned to look at him, panting from their efforts, eyes alight with love, hate, and maybe something else...

He hated the way their eyes bored into him, as if trying to scorch him where he stood.

_**Sealed with lies through so many tears**_

'Inuyasha...' they muttered at the same time, in such a way that their words seemed to merge in one voice, as if reincarnation and reincarnated had suddenly found themselves within a single body, one single person.

If only.

He knew what they wanted. He had been waiting for this fight to break for such a long time... And still he had hoped he's have more time.

_**Lost from within, pursuing the end**_

'You have to choose.' The cold, harsh words came from Kikyo, and the hanyou found himself staring at his own two feet, unable to meet either gaze. Because even if Kikyo had been the one to speak them aloud, he knew Kagome had wanted to say them, too.

He seemed to be the only one dreading this conversation. Despising this very moment.

'Inuyasha...' pleaded Kagome, and he couldn't help but raise his eyes to meet hers. 'We can't go on like this anymore. We...**I** need to know.'

But he couldn't answer, couldn't she see that? Couldn't they?

Because if he chose Kagome, what would Kikyo do?

And if he chose Kikyo, what would Kagome do?

And somewhere, deep inside, a small part of him hurt, because _he_ didn't matter at all in the equation. No-one would ask what Inuyasha felt, what he wanted. They told him to choose, and in the end he didn't matter at all –Kikyo and Kagome did. Not the dirty little _hanyou_.

_**I fight for the chance to be lied to again**_

Kagome's sobs managed to break through his thoughts.

'Please Inuyasha! Please.' She whispered his name, her voice broken, and yet a treacherous part of his brain couldn't help but wonder if she cared at all about him, or getting the upper hand on Kikyo for once.

_**You will never be strong enough**_

'Will you come with me?' Kikyo asked, and Inuyasha's gaze abandoned Kagome's to meet her cold, saddened stare. 'Will you take my hand? You promised me. You said you'd protect me, you said you loved me.'

And the softly spoken words almost broke his heart.

_**You will never be good enough**_

Kagome's sobs rose in volume as she bended over herself, words falling from her lips as she hid her face from Inuyasha's eyes.

'I love you. I swore to always be by your side. I took you as you are, I never tried to change you.'

And Inuyasha couldn't deny the truth in her words either.

'I can't choose.' He said softly, turning around, and had they cared they would have heard the pain lacing those three words. 'I'm sorry, but I won't make a decision that will only cause pain. I love you both. Isn't that enough?'

_**You were never conceived in love**_

Apparently, it wasn't.

And just like that, as their anger spiked again, they were suddenly at each others' throats, this time forgetting everything about their powers, punching and kicking and biting.

'You will never be good enough for him.' Spat Kikyo, viciously punching the other girl's unprotected stomach. 'You are nothing compared to me, just a bad, lame copy.'

Shiftily recovering from the punch Kagome reached to hit Kikyo on the face, missing her nose by inches and busting the other's lip.

'You won't ever be good enough for him. You aren't even alive! You hate him! He'll never choose you.'

Inuyasha felt himself flinch at their words, hating the venom-covered insults.

_**You will not rise above**_

And as they lunged at each other again, Inuyasha felt a spike of anger. Didn't they even care about how their words were hurting him?

_**They'll never see**_

_**I'll never be**_

'I am the original!' Kikyo shouted, pulling at her reincarnation's hair and exposing the miko's soft throat. 'I have died for him! He gave everything for me! I am the one who deserves to be with him, not you. You would never understand him.'

Sending a bolt of power to the hand holding her Kagome twisted around to kick the undead miko, missing her by little as the woman dodged her foot.

'Me? What about you? Trying to change him into a human is not understanding. I accept him, understanding will eventually come.'

'You will be dead soon, miko, and who will be there for him then?' purred Kikyo, eyes flashing as she reminded the much younger miko of her mortality.

'You are already dead!' screamed back Kagome, blocking the punch that had accompanied the dead miko's words.

_**I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger**_

_**Burning deep inside of me**_

Inuyasha's ears twitched and an angry blush spread over his face, rage slowly taking over him. Immersed in their fight, they didn't even seem to remember _he_ was there.

_**But through my tears breaks a blinding light**_

_**Birthing a dawn to this endless night**_

The sun would rise soon, and Kikyo would have to depart. Inuyasha had thought so before, but now he could see they wouldn't leave without making him choose.

And slowly a blinding red pain broke through the darkest recesses of his heart to look at him in the face.

_**Arms outstretched, awaiting me**_

Kikyo and Kagome kept fighting, both trying to knock each other out.

And still he couldn't meet their eyes. He couldn't –wouldn't?- hold his hand out for any of them.

_**An open embrace upon a bleeding tree**_

Kikyo fell back as Kagome swept her feet from the floor, arms flying out as she crashed into a tree.

"_Not a tree. My tree."_ And Inuyasha couldn't help but remember how Kikyo had abandoned him.

_**Rest in me and I'll comfort you**_

He hanyou knew the fight could be deadly, Kikyo versus Kagome, and yet they expected him to come between them and choose. He had always known, in the back of his mind, _this_ would happen, both women tugging at his heart in opposite directions –none caring whether his heart tore in two.

And who would win this tug-of-war?

There had been a time when Kikyo could be soothed with a simple hug, a fleeting smile; the same could be said for the temperamental Kagome. One of them from the future, one of them from the past, yet there seemed none of them could be his present.

_**I have lived and I died for you**_

'I died for you, Inuyasha!' Kikyo yelled at him.

At his quick intake of breath she smiled, not knowing the real reason for it –not knowing Inuyasha's decision had already been made.

'I would live for you!' Kagome said, her words cutting through the clearing as she healed her broken hand with her miko powers.

_**Abide in me and I vow to you**_

_**I will never forsake you**_

'She hated you!'

'She'll die'

'She'll never understand'

'She'll never accept you!'

'She is dead'

'She is evil'

'She is just a child'

'She abandoned you'

'I gave everything for you'

'I love you!'

'I love you too.'

And Inuyasha could no longer tell who was speaking as their accusations filled the air. He didn't care anymore. He had already chosen.

_**They'll never see**_

_**I'll never be**_

And none of them could see that. He could read them both like an open book, even if sometimes he chose to ignore what he already knew.

'You have to decide.'

'You have to choose.'

'I can wait no longer.'

_**I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger**_

_**Burning deep inside of me**_

'I have already chosen.' As he spoke they both leaned towards him, eyes shinning with hope yet hopeless, wanting to know yet dreading to, wanting him to choose –yet not. And as the words left his mouth, he felt free. Light. And starved, so starved, as he stopped running and the hunger he had managed to hide from for so long finally caught up with him. 'I won't choose any of you. I choose myself.' With a self-deprecating chuckle, he added, 'Someone has to.'

Ignoring the twin looks of horror he turned around. He had made the right choice.

Now he just had to run fast enough to escape the punishment both girls were sure to foist upon him for daring to do what none of them had done. For caring about himself, at last.

They had asked for it. They had wanted him to choose.

Well, their wish had been granted.

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**R&R? Pretty Please?**


End file.
